An Intellectual Reflection on Unintellectual Events

So as a college student, its almost expected that I go out and party on a Saturday night... So I did, and once again found no real benefit from the experience... as usual. Yet, every weekend night the scene is repeated, one way or another. We lose ourselves in the inebriated masses, or in the intoxicating beverages we carelessly consume, and find our fun from the freedom to be a fool in a forum where it is expected. Of course the fun also comes from the loss of inhibitions which supposedly allows us to more easily and confidently converse with the opposite sex in order to feel free enough to fornicate, although often the plans involve much simpler terms.

However, this particular practice of my plastered peers bothers me deeply. Alcohol is a depressant, a substance that dulls our senses and coordination so that all the splendor of life is blurred in a drunken haze. To have sex or make love is an act that sets our senses on fire, and awakens our bodies and minds to all the pleasures that life can contain. Clearly, by being under the influence when sharing one's self with another the act is less satisfying, meaningful, and usually vastly less memorable. Why people do it is simple though, the need is always there, we all desire love, but the difference is that we all may interpret love in a different way. Thus, those who see love as just a result of a shared physical attraction, the apparent logical means to acquire that love would be to take any shared physical attraction to its obvious conclusion. Alcohol, in this case is merely a social performance enhancer, which allows one to suppress all the fear and uncertainty that comes with trying to entice another to share one's bed.

Yet I do not share this idea of love. The fear and uncertainty that comes when a man recognizes beauty manifested in a woman, or when a woman recognizes beauty manifested in a man is not something to be suppressed or drowned away with alcohol. It is natural for people to be struck with awe in the presence of a beautiful painting, landscape, or moment in life, and the same should apply for when one encounters beauty in another person. This fear or awe of a beautiful person comes from a recognition of the immense power that love possesses to help us to transcend the mundane trivialities of life, and live for something greater than ourselves. To dull this sense with alcohol or merely ignore it as a social weakness, is to dull or ignore our own humanity.

These ideas, whether they may seem revolutionary, trivial, or simply common sense are not new. Plato, expressed these views almost 2,500 years ago in a work called the Phaedo. He however was revolting against a practice of philosophers during his time having carnal relations with their apprentices. Now today, most would argue that making love while drunk is not nearly as bad as those philosophers who took advantage of their pupils so long ago, but I argue that the problem is the same. Today, we see sex as just a primal desire that can be silenced by simply being fed, and in ancient Greece, the view of those philosophers who had outraged Plato is actually the same. In antiquity, they believed that the body was in conflict with the soul, and today we seem to have reverted to that same point of view. Politicians today, for example, are so afraid of having a natural sexual relationship with their own wives, that they bottle up their emotions until they can't resist anymore and explode in scandalous activity.

Plato, and I, if I am not out of place associating with his genius, would argue that the body and soul are not in conflict. I can give plenty of examples of instances when the bodily drives can lead to the satisfaction of the soul as well. Take athletics, the body's drive to compete and succeed gives the soul confidence and value in itself, and the soul's desire to succeed in those realms as well can drive the body to even further improvement. Love is no different. It does not conflict with reason but enhances it, if we are aware of all the complexity inherent to love.

Back to the party experience for a minute... The difference here, is that love is separated, there is sex, and there is love. Some people go out to these parties simply looking for sex, others looking to find someone to fall in love with, and of course some just want to get drunk, but the separation of sexual desire and the desire to love as shown here is a troubling issue.

Now it is possible to separate sex and love; one can be in love without having sex, and have sex without being in love, and both can be satisfying to a degree. The desire for sex and love however can not be separated. We simply try to satisfy it via sex or love when in actuality both desires are leading us toward the same thing.

Arguably, my gender, (men) are much worse at understanding the truth about the human desire to love. Which is why at the party I was at last night, there was a vastly greater number of guys, and most acting foolishly in an attempt to win the favor of what girls were there. The girls on the other hand, most likely were there blowing off steam but had faint hopes of finding some sort of deep connection, but assuming that every guy who talked to them just wanted sex. The biggest problem though is that both guys and girls expect to find some sort of satisfaction in these drunken encounters.

Furthermore, guys, or at least in my case, feel that women are more apt to be attracted to those who are confident than those who are struck by the true nature of the woman's beauty. So we desensitize ourselves with alcohol so that we nolonger are aware of true beauty and are not struck speachless. Women then understand this to be the normal male behavior and expect that those who are struck by their beauty are simply less confident, and less desirable. Thus, it seems both genders perpetuate the dulling of our senses and loss of understanding about beauty and love.

To end this long running reflection, I'd like to suggest something to anyone who takes the time to read this. For any men like myself; don't be ashamed of that fear that overwhelms you when you see beauty manifested in a woman. That is what you should feel, and it will lead you to find a love that is satisfying in every way. And women; don't take men who are stunned by your beauty as unconfident or unmanly. The most manly thing is to face one's fear, not deny it or hide it beneath a veil of intoxication or feigned confidence. For everyone, the desire to love is the most reasonable thing of all. It is not dirty or disgusting or perverse, but if it is allowed to be nothing more than a merely pleasurable fluid exchange, that's when we should be most disgusted.