What A Woman Wants?

Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction, however it was based on some of my personal dealings with women. I have no intention of degrading, insulting, or doing any other type of harm to women in writing this. My intention was to highlight the sad, but habitual tendencies of women to not see that what they're looking for is right in front of them. I attempted to take a woman's perspective in this to also try and understand why such tendencies are common. Hopefully a little humor can be found in this piece as well. Also, ladies, I would like your input on this because I want to know if you can relate to this female character.



This has got to stop. What’s wrong with guys today? Is there even one decent guy around here?
“Hey Brittany.”

“Oh, hey Andrew.”
Seriously, guys have no class. All they want is to have their fun and leave me. I don’t think there’s single one of them who actually knows how to treat a girl. None of them ever care how I feel.
“How’re you today?”
“I’m fine thanks.”
Guys only seem to care about one thing. They just never think. They’re all just so stupid.


“So Britney, might you need any help with your homework?”
“No thanks Andrew. I’m fine.”


It’s like we’re just objects to them. They don’t even try to understand how girls work. If they even tried a little they could figure out what makes us happy. I can’t believe that none of them can figure me out.


“You ok Britney? It seems like something’s bothering you.”
“I’m just tired thanks.”


All I really want is a nice, funny guy who can make me smile. Is that too much to ask? Why can’t guys stop thinking about sex long enough to give me a laugh every once and a while.


“So this is a little random, but how many shrinks does it take to screw in a light bulb?”
"I dunno.”
“Just one, but he has to lay it down on a couch and ask it how it feels first.”
“That’s a good one Andrew.”


Guys are just so lazy too. I work hard to keep my body in shape while they just sit around playing their video games. What ever happened to guys being athletic?


“Oh by the way, I have a track meet this Saturday. You should come.”
“That’s nice Andrew, maybe I will.”


They’re always so creepy too. Every time I try to have a good time with my girl friends they’re always hitting on me. Just because I’m drunk doesn’t mean I want to have sex. Why don’t they just talk to me when I’m sober and get to know me?


“So have you been doing all right with your classes and working at the same time? I imagine its pretty hard?”
“It’s nothing really.”


What ever happened to romance anyway? Why do guys only buy girls flowers after they’ve cheated on them? Why don’t they write poetry or do all those sweet things that now only happen in movies?


“I know you’ve been busy, but did you get a chance to read the poem I wrote? I think it’s ok, but I could use an outside opinion.”
“Sorry Andrew, I didn’t get a chance.”


Even when I think they care they always end up hurting me. It’s like they enjoy it. When I was with Jonathan I don’t know what I did, but for some reason he just seemed to get off on hitting me and making me cry. No matter how nice I was to him, or however many times I apologized he just wouldn’t stop. Then after all I had done for him he got bored with me and left. Its like guys don’t have a single considerate bone in their body. I can’t remember the last time a guy has done anything remotely nice for me.


“Oh Britney, I almost forgot, I took a look at your paper and fixed a couple things and made a few recommendations. I thought you could use a little help if that’s ok.”
“Yeah, sure, thanks.”


They never make any time for me either. I have all the time in the world available for them, but they’d always rather spend time drinking with their buddies or doing something else. Why can’t guys ever make time for me?


“If you want, I have some time after dinner to go over the paper more. I don’t mind, plus I really don’t have much else to do tonight.”
“That’s ok. I think I’ll be all right with it.”


God, I wish Andrew would leave me alone. Yeah, he’s nice, and kinda funny, but he just seems to care too much. It’s just weird. Doesn’t he realize that he’s crowding me? I need my space. It’s like he doesn’t even know he’s bothering me.


“I hope I’m not annoying you. If I am, I’ll stop.”
“No Andrew, you’re fine.”


Why’d I sit next to him in the first place? Sure he looked cute that first day, and he’s pretty helpful in class, but he’s just so strange. Maybe he thinks I like him or something. I don’t know why he would think that.


“You know, if I am bugging you I can move next class. I don’t mind, and you can sit with some of your other friends.”
“No, no, it’s all right. I like sitting by you.”


I don’t even want to think about this anymore. Guys are all dogs. There isn’t one good one, and I shouldn’t even give them the satisfaction of being thought about.


-My God, my hair is all frizzy! This weather is brutal. I can’t believe I actually left my room looking like this. I’m hideous. I’m completely repulsive.


“If it’s not weird for me to say Britney, you look very nice today.”
“That’s nice Andrew.”